"Whatever Happened to the Christian Funeral?"

Thomas Long unpacks this question in his book, Accompany Them With Singing: The Christian Funeral. I bring this up today because I played for a memorial service (not a funeral), a type of service which seems to growing more and more ubiquitous, at least to me.

More than once during this service for which I played, the service itself was referred to as a "celebration of the life" of the deceased. The body was not present. The service was more personalized than a typical funeral. There were several speakers--family members who shared stories and memories of their loved one who had passed. Several mementos and objects were brought forward that were associated with the life of the deceased.

But Long questions theses practices. Though he recognizes that such emphasis on life and joy seem more appropriate to the Christian witness of the resurrection, Long contends that these are, on a fundamental level, "expressions of a corrupted understanding of the Christian view of death." (pg. 59) What follows in this post are some of Long's assertions.

If a funeral's intentions are to proclaim the Gospel story, does not an emphasis on the life story of the deceased actually undermine that story? Are we telling Bob's story, or God's story? This is not to say that we should not remember the life of the deceased at the funeral, but rather that the story of the deceased is not the whole story, but that its literary threads are woven into God's story and find their consummation there.

Grief is an act of letting go. We offer our grief to God, but such prayerful action should not be something done apart from the physical presence of the deceased. Imagine a wedding: we invite all of the guests; the bride and groom, however will not be present. In their place, we will have a service "in remembrance" of the bride and groom who will be married later at the courthouse. It should be no different with a funeral (save for circumstances which necessitate such services). If we are commending the deceased into the hands of God, the deceased should be physically present in the ritual action.

Have communion! What better way to give thanks for the deceased and their communion with God than by sharing in Christ's body and blood, which we share with all the saints, the company of which now includes our loved one. Thomas Long fleshes out these issues (and many more) in his book, but I wanted to raise them here and solicit some feedback. What do you feel are the marks of a good funeral? What should a funeral say? What should a funeral not say? Should the deceased be present whenever possible?